Having expectations for your own achievements comes with a limit. It was just a section quiz, yet it turned my day upside down. If I said I had 98 marks for my quiz and still complained, you might just slap me. The thing is, I had expectations. Before knowing my score, I expected that I would get 100 again, just like the last quiz. But when I scanned through the list and found my name, disappointment fell on me like a sack of potatoes.

I spent the rest of the class sulking and ignoring my boyfriend. Partly because he had a higher score, and partly because I didn’t want to lash out at him. But it didn’t matter, because he said something later that really punched me out of my blue. Have I given thanks to God? Right at that moment, I forgotten about God. All I was thinking was “How come? I should have gotten better than this” instead of “Thank you Lord, that I have gotten such a high score, and it’s all because of the wisdom you gave me, I am so grateful for having you as my God”.  

It’s easy to be grateful and thanking God when things are in our way. But will it be the same when we’re in our downs? Will I still remember that God is the one who provided me, and will continue to provide me everything else in my life? It brought me back to a line in this song I learned from playing a game with a friend

It really made me question my behavior towards this matter,  I wasn’t just simply being a brat. I have complained about God.

To be honest, I think this is also a little test from God. Just two days ago I learned about “冲突时真实的面对自己”

We talked about how to face our true self during a conflict by identifying our own wrongdoings first.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

I just kept blaming Daniel that he doesn’t understand how I feel , I have every right to be upset, and yet I didn’t realize that I’m not where near righteous

And how exactly do I remove this plank in my eye? Bear full responsibility of my mistakes. Pride and ego doesn’t beat God’s wrath does it? :P